Part Six: Knowing Your Worth and Staying True to You. Now That’s Really Courageous.
A word from Susan
In this part…
Michelle’s Story: True to Me
Being brave in my life is:
Creating a winding career path when my children were young, then refocusing the path and successfully navigating 14 years (and counting) at the same company.
Founding a women’s group at my company with trusted friends and colleagues; letting that group dissolve after colleagues left and COVID came.
Getting divorced after 19 years of marriage; risking my heart after being divorced for 11 years.
Not having a relationship with my brother, then supporting my parents when he died unexpectedly.
Trying out new volunteer opportunities and quitting the ones that don’t work for me.
Being an introvert and a minimalist in a world filled with noise and stuff.
Cultivating relationships that fill my heart and letting go of ones that don’t.
Bravery is being your true, authentic self, remaining the same person no matter where you are or who you are with.
Being brave is living on your own terms, with kindness.
Big Brave Truth: Courageous people are willing to live on their own terms.
Action Step: List 3 things you’ve done in the past week, living true to you.
Michelle works in National Accounts for a global healthcare products and services company.
Susan’s Story: A Google Visit
When my second book, Fully Human was published, I was invited by Google to speak to their New York employees. I was so excited that I packed, unpacked and repacked the clothes I wanted to take on the trip.
Once there, I learned there were two of us speaking to the Googlers. The presenter before me was maybe thirty (unlike me, let’s just say), and she had created a very cool product—a jump rope being used in lesser-developed countries because it doubled as solar light. The kids could use it for playtime, and it could also be a source of light in homes.
Then she lit it up, and in 4-inch heels, she began jumping rope on stage to, you know, show us its full effect.
My stomach sank.
My flat, lifeless segment was next. It was a “fireside chat” format, where a moderator asks you boring questions about your life and work. The auditorium was set up as theater in the round with employees around me in every direction. The lights were low, so it was hard to make out peoples’ facial expressions as the questions began, but I figured if there was such a thing as a collective eye roll, it was happening right now. Toward me.
I began answering the questions and all the while I wanted to scream “I know you don’t care about these stupid questions! I know you want the rope jumper back!”
But then it got interesting. The moderator surprised me by asking about a passage in Fully Human where I wrote about my spiritual director, Joe, and how he would say: “Don’t forget to charge your soul phone each morning, Susan.”
“What does that mean?” she asked.
With trepidation, I responded: “It’s code for meditate and pray.”
Slowly, people started looking up from their phones. Questions began from all parts of the room: How do you meditate? Which method do you use? How do you find a spiritual director? They were… engaged! Turns out I wasn’t boring after all; I offered value in my own unexpected way.
We each have unique gifts that add value to others. That day, when I stopped trying to be the rope jumper, I could proudly show up as myself.
Big Brave Truth: Courageous and strong, step out into the world and celebrate your gifts.
Action Step: List three gifts and talents you’re proudest of.
Rachel’s Story: “Never, Ever Give Up”
You can do it! Those four words have a lot of power. We all need cheerleaders in our lives to spur us on and keep us inspired to succeed. But the best cheerleader you can have? You. I learned this from my Aunt Rachel, who went by “Ray”, the role model who taught me more about being a woman in business than anyone.
Aunt Ray passed away in 2016, so I’m telling her story for her.
She was Revlon's second female vice president in its storied history, when she was named head of new product development, sales, and marketing for beauty products in 1970. Not only was she at the frontier of women in the workplace, she viewed her work as a career, not just a job. She relished being a professional in business. She lived a glamorous, single life in Manhattan, shopping at Saks and Bloomies and taking in first-run Broadway shows. On weekends, she returned to her second home in Detroit, and when she’d swing by our house with her Revlon samples, I’d push my way through my sisters to sit next to her. She claimed I was always glued to her side, asking about marketing, sales, and customers. I don’t remember that, but her mind was like a steel trap, so I have to believe it’s true.
She told me I was her favorite of all the nieces. It turns out, she told plenty of her nieces that. It didn’t diminish our love or my admiration for her. It didn’t make her encouragement—“You can do it Su-Su!” (her nickname for me) any less real. She set a bar for me to become a vice president, and when I reached it, she reset the bar. “Run a company,” she said. “You can do it.” And so, I became a Chief Operating Officer.
She was a walking contradiction in some ways, loving to watch and order from QVC, but then calling to cuss them out for their skimpy hostess dresses. She urged me to save every penny but spent weekends gambling at Detroit’s Greektown casinos. As she aged, she could sometimes be cranky on the phone, so when I called to wish her a happy ninetieth birthday, I was delighted by how happy she sounded. “Su-Su!” she gushed, “I found a life insurance policy that says if I make it to 90, I collect $100,000!” And off to QVC she went.
Never, Ever Give Up
When I lost my mom and sister within a month of each other, she was there, whispering in my ear, “Never, ever give up.” After taking a leave of absence from HGTV, I returned and pressed on.
Aunt Ray kept my mom’s memory alive, entertaining me with funny stories, like when she and Mom worked together as young women in an office. “Did I tell you about the time some guy named Jim complimented your mom on her burgundy dress? Your mom said, ‘Jim, it’s not burgundy. It’s corduroy!’” Mom did have some malaprop in her.
Not long after Aunt Ray’s 90th birthday, her heart began to fail. Of all the parts that could quit on her, I thought her oversized heart would live on forever. When I visited her I could hear her whisper, as she took slow painful steps from the front door to the kitchen, “You can do this, Ray! You can do it!” Through sheer strength of will, she lived 98 years.
Two weeks before she passed, she told me she had a conversation with God and said—“When I go, drop me off in NY or Hawaii.”
I imagine God looked at her fondly and said, I’ve got it covered.
Big Brave Truth: To die happy is to risk, feel, celebrate, and to never, ever give up.
Action Step: Put everything aside for a moment, including your cell and to-do list. Think about a friend or family member who has not only loved you, but mentored you. Close your eyes and envision a moment when you sat with them, and recall something they passed on to you.
I’m so enjoying these chapters and the openness and vulnerability of the stories. I was especially moved by the action step encouraging reflection on a mentor who has impacted me. So many incredible women come to mind. 🙏🏼